Be present, be thankful, appreciate everything.

Good morning, friends! Hope all is well wherever you may be. Today, I’ve asked Melissa to guest post again. Her post today is a post about finding hope in difficult times, moving forward through pain and staying positive when everything seems to be falling apart. Losing a friend is one of the hardest experiences to go through – and Melissa is truly raw and honest about how she made it through this hard time. Thank you Melissa for being so willing to share! xoxo

Hi queens! I’m Melissa. I’m so happy that Andi invited me to guest post again on Polish My Crown. Today, I want to talk about my best friend, Kirsten.

The happy little (literally, she was tiny) girl you see above is named Kirsten, or Kir for short. Kir passed away December 17, 2006, during our junior year of high school. She was visiting her dad in a town that was out in the country; lots of winding roads and hills. While taking a friend home, Kir got into a car accident and passed away later that night.

Nobody knows what happened that night to make Kir crash her car. Some say the she may have swerved around an animal, other people say that it was just bad out that night and she may have hit a bad spot on the road. Whatever the case may be, it was obviously devastating to myself, her other friends, and her family.

I hope that no one else has lost a best friend, and that while you’re reading this you can’t possibly understand what all of us went through. I hope that you can’t relate; that you haven’t been in the same position. But if you have (or even if you haven’t), you know how difficult it can be to stay positive in a situation like this.

I did manage to stay (mostly) positive. The day I found out what happened I left my house and ran to my then-boyfriend’s house. I couldn’t even speak I was so upset, and soon thereafter word got out and my mom came to get me. I spent a few days in silence, just crying in my room. Then I went back to school, which was even worse. Seeing her locker, notes from her in my assignment notebook, or sitting at the lunch table waiting for her and realizing she wasn’t coming. I would be lying if I said it was easy. It wasn’t. But like everyone says, life goes on. And I knew that Kir wouldn’t want anything but happiness for all of us stuck here missing her.

So the big question: how did I stay positive during such a difficult time?

First & foremost: with an amazing support system. Teachers, family, friends. While all I wanted was to be left alone, everyone was rallying around me. After that? By doing whatever I felt was right. I wanted a tattoo in remembrance, and I now I have several. I was blessed enough to be given a lot of Kir’s clothes & other possessions, so every time I use her pen, or walk in my bathroom and see her rubber ducks, I’m reminded of her.

And most importantly? I live every single day being reminded of just how lucky I am to be here, and be living my life. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had that Kir missed out on. Often times, when I’m frustrated with something (like the never ending homework, or an internship coordinator that isn’t being very friendly) I remember that I’ve gotten all these chances that Kir didn’t have, and I should take advantage of them. It helps me to get through things that I may otherwise try to avoid (like that never ending homework that I’ll clearly blog about but will put off for as long as I can).

Even for someone who hasn’t lost a friend, consider making this your way to live. Be present, be thankful, and appreciate everything. Because you never know what could happen tomorrow.


Hi queens! I’m Melissa. Born & raised in Indiana, I’m a senior this year and trying to appreciate it before my time here ends and it’s time for a *gasp* big girl job! I’m excited to be guest posting here on Polish My Crown because Andi and her positive attitude are some of my biggest inspirations!

Stay in touch! Visit me on Twitter (@melissary) or at my blog: :)


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