inspiring women, part 9

Happy Wednesday! I’m excited to continue my Inspiring Women series and feature the amazing Rayne. Rayne is a blogger that I met through the 8 Women Dream network when I guest posted on the site back in 2011. When I first was offered a job in SF, I emailed the 8WD group asking for their advice and Rayne graciously offered to let me stay in her home north of San Francisco. She picked up clueless, Midwest-born me from the airport and I lived with her and her husband for a month, THEN she helped me find my first apartment. She truly taught me the California ropes and helped me learn everything from where to go in San Francisco to the best wineries to visit {hint: there are in Sonoma, NOT Napa!} I am so thankful for her generosity, her encouragement and for the way she took me under her wing when I first moved. We still are very good friends. She recently released her first book Toxic Mom Toolkit, where she shares her memoir and practical advice on how to deal with toxic parenting. She’s fostered an online community and conversation on Facebook as well. While I wouldn’t describe my own mom as toxic at all, I find a lot of inspiration and advice from her community – highly recommend you check it out. I hope you’re as inspired by her words today as I am. xo

PS – funny story about Rayne. While we were driving back from my birthday weekend, we stopped in Petaluma to grab a coffee. Rayne was sitting there in the cafe at the same time we walked in. Love when that happens!

1. What story is your life telling right now, today?

With the publication of my first book, Toxic Mom Toolkit, my life is all about pursuing your dreams and helping others. My book includes my memoir and the voices of other women who, like me, managed to grow up sane and happy despite having super toxic mothers. My life proves that owning what you know, getting over your fears and helping others creates an invinsible platform for growth.

2. What woman inspires you and why?

Every woman who posts on Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook inspires me. It is in telling our most personal stories about the struggle to create a happy life, that we truly help others.

3. What are three things you’re thankful for?

I am grateful each day for the opportunity to do good, to be kind to others and myself. And bacon.

4. What’s one lesson you’ve learned that you can share with Polish My Crown readers?

I was that kid who didn’t excel at anything. I was cross-eyed and clumsy. As an adult, I had little jobs in odd places until I began writing. The best way to describe how writing changed my life is to say that I always felt like a nice little duck living in the Sahara desert. Yes, camels and snakes are nice, but we didn’t have a lot in common. I was often tired and confused by my life. But then I signed up for a writing class and suddenlyit was as if I fell from the sky into Lake Tahoe and I knew how to SWIM! There were other, friendly, hilarious, encouraging ducks and we flocked together and built our literary nests and I knew I was where I belonged – writing. When I became a newspaper reporter, every day was an adventure, even if I was only covering a grocery store opening. I always thought I’d like to write a book, but I promised myself I would only do so when I identified a topic I knew more about than just about anyone else and it had to be something I was super passionate about. The funny part was, my topic – surviving toxic parenting – was something I hid for most of my life. It was only in gaining perspective through being a reporter and volunteering as a law enforcement chaplain that I finally realized by speaking my truth on my topic I could help others. The lesson of my life is to stand back and open your eyes. What do you know better than most people? THAT’s your strong suit, your wheel house, your area of expertise. Owning that realization is the beginning of turning any shame inducing negative into a glorious positive.

3 responses to “inspiring women, part 9

  1. An inspiring story. I know some people who are surviving toxic parenting, even still. Congrats Rayne!

  2. Love this post, Ander. Especially highlighting Rayne! What an amazing individual. <3

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